Life's Like This
by HelenL
Summary: Kate goes through a rough time, and it'll take all her friends to help her get through it.
1. Kate's Insomnia

**Disclaimer:** Don't own them... blah, blah, blah. They're DPB's, not mine.

**Summary:** Well, all of the Tate groups knows- to an extent... Um, Kate's having a really crappy time, and Tony's trying to help. This is my first fully Tate fic- though I have to admit that I did throw in my GAbby. But you can completely ignore it, if you so desire. For my own purposes, McGee's not here. I don't know or care where he is. Tate Group- please don't ruin the ending for everyone else, okay?

**A/N: **Thanks to jandyle for previewing this and putting up with all my babbling when I was bored on Wednesday. I suggested this as an idea for her to use in her story, but she told me to make it into my own fic. I wrote it on Wednesday, but I tweaked it a LOT! Anyways- as always- please review. I'll be a bit more lenient on this story- only 7 reviews, okay? Come on- you guys are Tate fans. You have a reputation of being the best reviewers- live up to it!

Kate walked into NCIS headquarters feeling incredibly tired and moody. She sat down quietly at her desk and began the long and tedious process of filing reports. Tony, her most recent object of obsession- and annoyance- was sitting at his desk too. He looked incredibly well rested and happy, which annoyed her even more. What right did he have to get a good night of sleep anyways?

But that wasn't fair she decided, as she looked back at her computer and began yet another day of work. After all, how many days had he come into work after clearly not sleeping? A lot more than she had…

Just then Gibbs walked by her desk. He glanced back at her then set his coffee down on the edge of her desk. She gave him a questioning look and he shrugged. "You look like you need it a lot more than I do…" was his only explanation as he walked to the elevator.

She sighed; great- so even her boss knew that she was incredibly exhausted. But- wait- he had given her his coffee? Why?

"Wow Kate, you really _are_ tired…" she muttered out loud.

Tony looked up from his desk. "Stay up past your bedtime last night Kate?"

She bit her lip, determined to keep her tongue in check. 'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you…' she told herself, over and over again.

But Tony was apparently in no mood to be ignored. "Oh…" He grinned knowingly. "Who was there this time Katie? Dwayne? Harrison? …Gibbs?"

She snapped. "Don't call me Katie!" She was yelling- great- the one thing she had been trying to avoid. "And why do you always assume that-when someone's tired- they were having sex? Get your mind out of the gutter and butt out of my life!"

Not in the mood for anymore of Tony's bullshit, she pushed out her chair and ran off, intent on finding someone to talk to- Abby. On her way down to the lab she began to berate herself. Why did she always let Tony- of all people- affect her like this? Why was it always him that she yelled at? Why couldn't she find someone _else_ to fixate on?

The elevator had stopped and the doors were about to shut her back inside. She gave herself a quick mental shake and headed towards Abby's lab.

Kate stopped at the window and stared. What the hell was- _Oh my God_ she realized suddenly; _the two of them are **dating**!_ She backed slowly away from the window and blink several times in rapid succession.

Well, on the one hand, that was great for Abby. But, on the other hand, it meant she was one of the three people in the building who _wasn't_ involved in a relationship. Of course, you never could tell with Tony… Hell, he probably had some hot, blonde-haired, blue-eyed twenty-two year-old waiting in his bed right now.

And that reminded her; she was supposed to be up there with Tony right now. Gibbs was bound to notice her absence soon, and she didn't think that he would appreciate what she was doing. So she did the only thing she could do- she went back upstairs, leaving Abby to her… Well, what appeared to be her new fascination.

She hurried back upstairs and sat back down at her desk, not really sure of what emotions her face must have been showing. Apparently Tony knew…

"Wow Kate, what happened to you? You look like you don't know whether to jump for joy or attack the next person who talks to you…" He paused as he realized that he was the one talking to her. "If I were you, I'd go with jumping for joy," he advised her. She glared at him- daring to say another word. "So what'd you see Kate?"

She clenched her fists at her side. "Nothing. That. Concerns. You. Got it?"

Tony was taken aback. Kate rarely ever even yelled- but this was worse than yelling. She was scaring him- literally scaring him. "Uh… Sure Kate. You- uh- you want me to get you anything?"

Kate sat down at her desk, what little energy she had now drained. "I'm sorry Tony… Would you get me some painkillers though? Please?"

He looked at her sympathetically. "Sure…"

He left and she sank her head down onto her desk.

"So what were you doing last night Kate?" Tony asked when he returned a few moments later.

She froze- could she tell Tony? She sighed- she had to tell _someone_, and clearly that someone wasn't going to be Abby. "Absolutely nothing…"

He frowned. "So what- you just decided that you'd rather sit on the couch?"

"No, I just- I couldn't sleep. I haven't slept in over four days…"

"Well did you tell anybody? Have you thought about going to the doctor or anything?" Kate was impressed- Tony actually sounded concerned.

"I'm telling you, aren't I?" she snapped. "Sorry- I've also been really grouchy."

He set down three ibuprofen pills and handed her Gibbs' coffee. "I hope you feel better…" He gave her a light squeeze and went to sit at his desk.

_Not very likely_ she thought miserably. "Thanks… I'm sure I'll be fine in the morning." She popped the pills into her mouth and swallowed them dry.

Tony looked at her for a long time before nodding. "Right… I'm sure you will be." He gave her an encouraging smile, though he was worried about her. Something was wrong with Kate; that much he could tell. But he had decided not to push it- Kate would tell someone eventually. He could only hope that she would choose him.


	2. Still Not Getting Any

**A/N:** Okay, I'm sorry to everyone who I was supposed to send this to, but it's kind of hot off the press, and I've been told that I should post as a Christmas present for you guys... Could I not have gotten one more measly review on this? Just one... ::sigh:: Oh well, here you go!

The next few days were rough for Kate. She couldn't bother Abby this time- and she knew it all too well. She couldn't tell Gibbs, as he would undoubtedly make her take some time off, and that was the last thing she needed. She could have told Tony more about it, but she really didn't want him to know that she was still having trouble sleeping. She kept telling herself that it didn't matter- after all; he would probably just make some stupid remark about how he could probably find a way to get her to sleep.

So she did what anyone else in her place would have done. She drank as much coffee and caffeine filled drinks as she could force down her throat and took a bath every single night so that she could at least put on the air of being relaxed. Sure, she still looked like hell, but at least she was awake- not that she had any choice in the matter.

Tony looked at his partner worriedly. Ever since Kate had told him about her problems with sleeping, he had been keeping a close eye on her. He had no excuse, other than the fact that he was worried about her. It was obvious to him that she still wasn't sleeping- and he wished that there was something he could do to help her.

Even Gibbs had noticed her sudden lack of enthusiasm. Of course, if he hadn't noticed that, the dark rings around her bloodshot eyes should have been a dead give away. He had asked Tony about it, thinking that Kate would rather turn to him than her boss. But Tony had told him that he didn't know either. And he didn't- to an extent. If Gibbs ever found out that he knew, he would probably be boiled in oil- but, for some reason that not even Tony knew, he really didn't care. Gibbs could fire his ass for all he cared right now.

Gibbs looked up at his two junior agents and sighed. Tony knew something- he had to. He refused to keep his eyes off of Kate. Sure, she was attractive enough, but he had had enough time to stare at her when she was better looking.

"Hey Kate- want some coffee?" asked Tony, hoping to have an excuse to escape the all knowing gaze of his boss.

She looked up at him with a glare. "Why? Does it _look_ like I need coffee?"

He shook his head quickly. "Of course not, I was just going to get me some and I thought maybe you'd want some."

"You can get me some DiNozzo…" Gibbs told him, hoping to break the tension in the room.

Kate sighed angrily. "Yeah, okay, I'll have some too."

Gibbs looked at her. "Okay Kate- he's gone. Now, tell me what happened."

Kate looked up at him. "What do you m- There's nothing to tell…" _Nothing to tell, nothing to tell, nothing to tell_- the words seemed to echo in her head.

"Then go and talk to Abby…" he suggested.

Kate laughed scornfully. "Right- so that you can go to her afterwards and get her to tell you? I think not…"

Gibbs gave her a funny look. "You know, don't you?" It really wasn't a question- it was more of an acknowledgement.

"No, Gibbs, I don't…" she told him sarcastically. "Come on! Who doesn't know?"

"I didn't think anyone knew." Gibbs raised his eyebrows. "So Abby told you?"

Kate shook her head. "Don't be stupid; Abby was probably the one who wanted to keep it a secret in the first place. And you'll be the typical male who wants the entire world to know about his latest sex toy."

"Kate! Abby and I are _not_ having sex. Honestly, what's gotten into you?"

"Nothing, I just-" No, she was not going to tell Gibbs too. "Good for you and Abby…" She made a half-hearted attempt to change the subject.

Gibbs decided to change tactics on Kate in the hopes of finding out what was wrong, though he knew he had a better chance getting it out of Tony. "Why? You want some too?"

"Not just no, but Hell NO!" She threw him a disgusted look.

"Well, good…" _Okay, that was stupid of you Jethro_.

"Yeah, it is good…" she retorted with a flashing glare.

Tony arrived with three cups of coffee. He set one on Gibbs desk and one on Kate's desk before sitting down with his own cup. "I have no idea what you guys are talking about, but I'll I agree with Kate and say that it must be _very_ good."

Gibbs bit back a smirk and stood up, coffee in hand. "Well, I'm going to go and see Ducky… You two can finish up here and then leave."

Kate watched as he left the bullpen. "Ducky my ass! I'll be damned to hell if I don't know where he's _really_ going…" she muttered hotly.

Tony grinned as he took a sip of coffee. "You don't believe him? Why not?"

Kate looked at the top of her coffee. _To tell or not to tell, that is the real question…_ She decided to keep her best friend's secret- for now anyways. "Ah- never mind, I'm just going mental, that's all."

He looked at her carefully for a moment. "How mental?"

"Trust me- you have no idea, nor do you want to know."

"Mental enough to come with me to get some food?"

She frowned. "Like, on a date? Sorry Tony, but I haven't gone _that_ mental…"

"Not on a date, just for food…" He sighed. "We used to go out for lunch and dinner all of the time Kate, what happened?"

_Oh wow Kate- what did happen? Hmmm… Let's see. Where do we start? Abby's confrontation- but no, you knew you liked him way before that. Gibbs' confrontation? Nope- you knew before that too. No, it probably had to be since after he had almost died. Now why on earth would that push you away Katie? Oh, wait, that's right. Because you were too damn stubborn to make sure he was okay and, next time, you're also going to be too stubborn to do anything about it. And the time after that, and the time after that, and every time from now on- until you're just too late. And then there won't be a Tony for you to swoon over. Actually, maybe that's not such a bad idea..._

"Kate?"

"Nothing '_happened_'; we just don't do it anymore…"

"Okay, okay. I get it…" He looked away dejectedly.

"No, Tony- that's the problem. You just don't get it!" She sighed and put her head down on her desk. _Sleep, sleep, sleep- please, God, just let me sleep!_

"Well, maybe I would if you'd actually talk to me. You talk to Gibbs and Abby…"

"Oh, please Tony; when was the last time I went to talk to Abby? And since when have I _ever_ talked to Gibbs? Gibbs doesn't even listen!"

"Kate, everybody would listen to you- if you'd talk to them. But you don't, and we know better than to push it…" He sighed. "Look, if you want to come and get some food with me, you're still more than welcome to, but if you don't, I'll go."

Kate nodded and stood up slowly. For a moment Tony thought she was actually going to come with him and his heart leapt. Maybe he could actually get her to open up to him. And then she could get some help…

"Well, what are you waiting for? Go…" Kate glared at his vacant expression.

Tony shook his head. "You're not coming then?"

She shook her head and picked up her purse with one hand and her coffee with the other. "No, I'm not. I'm going to go home and take a bath and then I'm going to go to bed."

Tony nodded. He wasn't used to rejection, but he could take it. Okay, well, he couldn't take it- but he'd put up with it for Kate. Hell, he'd do anything for Kate… It was just a matter of her asking. Still, maybe he should tell her one more time. "You know, if you ever want to talk to me, I'm only a phone call away… You have my cell phone number."

"And why would I want to talk to you? You're not my boyfriend and I don't call guys just to _chat_. Nice try though…" she scoffed.

"Ouch Kate… You win, I'm going." He turned around sadly and headed for the parking lot.

Kate watched him, horrified. _Oh my God, what was I thinking? He was only trying to help! And, let's face it, right now, you could sure you use some 'help', couldn't you Katie? But now look what you've done- you've pushed him away from you. You know he won't put up with it forever…_ She wanted to run after him- to call him back and apologize. She wanted to throw her arms around him and pour her heart out to him. Without thinking, she rushed off to get in the elevator with him.

"Did you change your mind? Or did you think of another insult that you forgot to throw at me?" asked Tony bitterly as the doors shut behind her. He was hurt, but trying his hardest to hide behind his 'tough guy' exterior.

Rather than using that as an opening for an apology, she turned to him angrily. "Yeah, well, it's your own fault… You're just too easy to insult." _Kate, what the hell are you doing? He just gave you the perfect opportunity, and what did you do? That's right- you insulted him even further! Some person you are…_

"Okay, fine- you don't want to talk to me… I can deal with that. But- not that you'll care- I'm still worried about you."

"Don't be! There's nothing to worry about, other than the fact that I work with a bunch of assholes. And if you want to fix that then you and Gibbs can quit!"

The elevator _ding_ed and they got out.

"Bye Kate…" he muttered softly as she walked away, her head held high.


	3. I need Coffee

**A/N:** I would've posted sooner, but I was having somebody beta it for me... Thanks oodles. Funnily enough- I'm watching NCIS as I write this. Anyways- thanks a buch for putting up with me. ::grins:: And my McGee bashings- especially the McAbby fans. Please Read and review- or poor Kate's going to be an insomniac for quite awhile, and no one is going to know why. Well, except for me, Abbs, and jandyle! Mwahahaha...

Kate sat at her desk, berating herself for what she had allowed to happen last night. Tony had called…

"_Kate, pick up the phone…. Come on, I know you're awake. You're sitting on your couch feeling sorry for yourself, aren't you?" he had sighed. "Look, I'm sorry Kate- I am. This is entirely my fault. I shouldn't have let you go home alone. Call me okay?"_

_And she had indeed been sitting on her couch feeling sorry for herself. Not only had she been sitting on her couch, but she had been staring at the phone, hoping and praying that he would call so that she could apologize._

_She shook her head. So what if Tony had called? She was a big girl; she didn't need his help._

"Kate- you okay?" His voice brought her back into the real world. She ignored him, as was becoming her custom. "Come on Kate, say something… anything?"

She laughed to herself. At least Tony hadn't slept last night either. Not only did his hollow eyes, messy hair and constant yawning tell her as much, but he had also left countless messages on her machine, begging her not to be mad and to get some help. Begging her to talk to somebody… _Right- like I need help?_

"Kate, please talk to me."

"DiNozzo- _shut the hell up_!" she yelled, much louder than necessary.

"Kate, please, I-"

"I said no…" she paused and looked at him before running off muttering. "I need coffee."

She escaped to the break room, only to have him follow her there. He grabbed her arm and spun her around to face him. "Look, Kate, I don't know what's gotten into you lately. I don't know a thing about you anymore. We used to be friends Kate… now it seems like Gibbs is friendlier with me than you are. Please talk to me. Talk to me like you used to."

She yanked her arm out of his grip. "There's nothing to tell," she snarled. "And I never wanted to be your friend anyways." She picked up her coffee and stalked off.

But he was right behind her. "Funny, it didn't seem like you hated me then," he sighed. "But it sure does now."

"Good, maybe you've finally picked up on something."

He grabbed her arm again, forcing her to face him. "Look, I can take the constant bashings from Gibbs; I can take the death glares from Abby… but I can't take you doing this to me. I just can't do it Kate."

She yanked her arm away again. "Learn to then… because this is as good as it's going to get."

She walked the rest of the way to her desk with Tony still on her heels. When she set her coffee on her desk, he spun her back around.

"Do you really want to hate me? Do you like being alone? Living in your disillusioned world where nobody cares? Come out of your warped fantasy and into the real world. _I_ care Kate."

Before she could think of a smart-ass comeback Gibbs appeared, seemingly from nowhere. "Kate, I need a word with you," he looked pointedly at Tony. "Alone."

_Now see what you've gotten yourself into? You're going to lose your job. Smart Katie, really smart. Now all that's left is the landlord kicking you out and your dad'll have been right after all. He always said you'd end up a sluty street bum, trying to make ends meet._

She ignored the tears that were threatening to spill over and followed her boss. If she was going to be fired, she would at least allow herself the dignity of walking out with her head held high. Later, she would be able to cry, but she would do it at home where nobody could see her.

They stopped and she faced her boss by taking a deep breath. "Okay, go ahead, get it over with."

He looked at her, puzzled. "I'm sorry, get what over with?"

"You're going to fire me, aren't you? Well, get it over with."

Gibbs chuckled. "No Kate, I'm not going to fire you; not today. I'm giving you the rest of the day off. No excuses. You and Abby are going to go and do something together…"

"Boy, and I thought I was going mental," she muttered. "Gibbs- are you feeling okay? You never give people the day off."

"Kate, I said no excuses. Go, now."

She gave him another confused look and headed off to the elevator and down to Abby's lab.

"Hey Kate!" Abby greeted her friend as she walked into the lab. "I haven't seen you in ages and I-" Her voice trailed off as she looked up from her computer and actually saw Kate.

"Oh, Kate…" she sighed and got out of her chair. "I'm so sorry I haven't been here for you." Abby wrapped her arms around her best friend, what was left of her. "Talk to me Kate. Tell me what's wrong."

"I- There's nothing to tell Abbs."

Abby let her go and gave her a gently suspicious look. "Kate, I know Gibbs pretends to let that work on him, but it won't work on me." She pulled out a chair. "Come on, sit down."

"No, Abbs, I don't want to-"

"Nonsense," interrupted Abby as she sat Kate down in one of her chairs. She sat down across from her. "Now, start at the beginning."

Kate sighed. There was no escaping Abby when she was determined. So Kate told her about how she hadn't slept in almost a week. Abby already knew that Kate liked Tony, so Kate even told her about how conflicted she was about the way she had treated him. She also told her about him calling her all night the previous night. Why couldn't she just be normal and go and apologize?

"Kate, I think you should know that he came down here to talk to me." Abby paused. "Don't give me that look, and don't go and yell at him either. He's worried about you; and for a good reason."

"Yeah, if you're so 'smart' then what is wrong with me?" Kate was quickly growing angry. She would probably regret it later, but for now she couldn't care less.

Abby knew Kate was just blowing off steam, but she was still shocked by her outburst. She didn't like it when people yelled at her, especially not when it was one of the people she loved, like Kate.

I can't tell you what's wrong with you because everyone's different," Abby said, determined not to let Kate get to her. This wasn't the Kate she knew.

"Yeah, well, maybe you're not as smart as you'd like to think."

"Kate, please stop yelling at me," whispered Abby, no longer sure that she could handle this. What had Gibbs been thinking when he had told her to talk to Kate?

Kate suddenly realized who she was yelling at and bit her lip. "Abbs, I'm sorry. I- I didn't mean to yell at you, I just-" she sighed. "I don't know what I was thinking." She leaned over and hugged her friend. "Please help me Abby; I don't want to be an empty shell…"

Abby hugged her tightly. "I won't let you be an empty shell Kate. I promise," she told her friend.


End file.
